I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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