Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize