my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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