He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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