real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
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