At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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