dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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