sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize