too bad you live with your parents still
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
