Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
