You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
