I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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