Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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