from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
