I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
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so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
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Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So. Much. Porn.
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