why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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