best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize