That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
