Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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