I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
