I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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