How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
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I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
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All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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