You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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