just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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