I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
