Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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