We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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