She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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