New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
