i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
