some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
