Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
