so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
