i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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