I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
