Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
