I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
