We're like a lot better than the average bears
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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