We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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