If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
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during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
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Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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