Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
