i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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