Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
