Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
