i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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