too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
50% drunk capacity currently
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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