ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize