my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
