Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
