who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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