Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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