sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
