For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
