Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
