dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
