Non-Jews are for practice
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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