I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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