batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
