That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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