Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize