I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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