this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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