We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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