Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
